S: Hey everyone, welcome! This is episode #7 in our series about midlife metabolism and weight loss. Today we’ll dive in to something rarely discussed. It might even be “taboo”! woot woot I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic.
C: And I’m Cheryl Gordon, I help midlife women sleep better, lose weight and feel stronger with the tools of yoga and mindfulness. And Sharlene, I’m so committed to having this conversation. Spoiler alert: we’re going to talk about S-E-X as well as some other key aspects of community and connection.
S: Your mother would be shocked! But this is super important not only for weight loss but true vitality.
C: Can I just speak from the heart here? It can be lonely as an older woman. My kids are busy. All the feelings of camaraderie I had at the office are behind me. And I love my honey but I just don’t have the hormones that drive me to seek the humpa wumpa all the time. And, I don’t know about our listeners, but my honey is old school. If I look for a cuddle, I’m in for the full monty.
S: And what if you don’t have a life partner at this stage? I am single. Connection and intimacy are not built in for me either.
C: Quite frankly, not only did desire cool quite a bit after menopause but sex got quite painful. I’d just like to shout out to all my sisters in this and encourage them to go to the North American Menopause Society website. This professional body has published several, easy to understand policy papers that really helped me clarify what my medical options were. This kind of advice is outside my scope of practice but I just wanted to say that, as a yoga therapist and committed holistic health devotee, a little help from pharmaceuticals is not giving up.
S: Good for you, Cheryl. It’s so important that women get information and keep searching until they find the solution that’s right for them. Let’s not let embarrassment hold us back. You, my friend are NOT alone.
C: Sharlene, how does a healthy sex life, intimacy and connection affect our weight gain?
S: Great question! So, let’s talk about intimacy, connection, and a healthy sex life—because this isn’t just about pleasure, it’s about power. This is where our life force is generated. When we feel deeply connected—emotionally, physically, spiritually—our body shifts. Stress melts. Cortisol drops. We stop living in survival mode, and we come back to our bodies, to trust, to vitality.
Oxytocin—the love hormone—floods our system, calming cravings, boosting metabolism, and helping us sleep better. But more than that? We awaken. We feel alive. And when a woman is lit up from within, her body naturally finds balance. So yes, pleasure, intimacy, and connection are metabolic medicine.
C: Right on. I’d just like to bring in the… wait for it… the nervous system AGAIN. Remember we talked about the connection between stress and weight gain? Humans are wired to be part of a tribe. To be ostracized meant almost certain death back in the day. That wiring is still present and active in your modern brain. It is physically painful to be ignored, left behind, gossiped about.
S: Yes! I’m so glad you brought that up—because this right here? This is what so many women don’t realize. Your nervous system isn’t overreacting. It’s doing its job. Feeling left out, judged, or excluded isn’t just emotionally tough—it’s physically painful. Your body reads it as danger. And midlife? It can feel especially lonely.
Things shift—careers change, friendships fade, kids grow up… and suddenly, it’s like you’re not being seen anymore. Like you’ve become invisible in a world that worships youth and surface beauty. But here's the truth: you’re still here. And the deep part of you—that wise, fiery, radiant part—is still very much alive.
You don’t have to wait to be chosen or rescued. You can consciously create connection—on purpose. And when you do? It’s not just good for the soul—it’s literal metabolic medicine.
Because when we feel safe, seen, and supported, the body stops bracing. Cortisol drops. Cravings ease. Sleep deepens. Your weight shifts because your body is no longer stuck in survival mode. That’s the power of belonging.
So how do we do it? Start small. I have found for me it works to take the first step, to reach out to someone who lights you up and invite her them for visit, chat, walk or game of some sort or to something you have in common.. Make connection a ritual—voice notes, walk-and-talks, cozy truth-telling tea dates. Or pull a few women together and start your own circle. You don’t need permission to build your village.
And if you’re craving depth? Say yes to that retreat or women’s group that’s been tugging at your heart. Because this isn’t just about friendship—it’s about coming home to yourself. That kind of safety recalibrates your whole system. Hormones, metabolism, mood—they all shift when your nervous system finally hears: You belong. You matter. You’re home.
We are not meant to lone-wolf our way through life, especially not through midlife. This is a season of deep transformation, and your nervous system is begging for safety, connection, and truth.
C: And you’re doing amazing listening to productions like this. As you empower yourself, work on your thoughts, feelings and actions, you’ll attract like minded people. Full disclosure. I have shed some previously close relationships and felt really exposed for a time. But once you sense the possibilities of taking charge, not just of your weight, but your whole life, it gets easier to stay the course.
S: Yes, thank you for naming that—because that transition? It’s real. When you start shedding old patterns, relationships, even identities... it can feel raw and lonely before it feels empowering. But it’s also a sign you’re growing. You’re aligning. And that’s sacred work.
And here's what helps: don’t do it alone. Staying accountable in community isn’t about pressure—it’s about support. As women we thrive in a tribe. So having women around you who remind you of who you are when you forget can be an anchor into highest self.. Those who reflect back your brilliance, your strength, and your truth.
Here are a few ways to stay anchored:
Find people who make you feel more like you. The real you—not the version that’s people-pleasing or playing small to keep the peace. If you walk away from a conversation feeling drained, second-guessing yourself, or like you had to shrink to fit in—that’s not your circle. That’s your signal. Protect your energy like your life depends on it—because in many ways, it does.
Be the brave one. Go first. Be the woman who sends the message, makes the invite, starts the real conversation. Say, “I’m done pretending everything’s fine. I want more depth, more truth, more real.” Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it might be messy. But waiting for someone else to go first? That’s how we stay lonely.
Put yourself in rooms that expand you. Go where your next self lives—even if it terrifies you. That women’s retreat you keep circling? Say yes. That movement class where you don’t know anyone? Go anyway. If it feels both scary and soul-stirring—that’s your growth edge. That’s your becoming.
Call your own bullshit—with love. You probably don’t need another reset or meal plan. You need to stop abandoning yourself when it gets uncomfortable. Show up. Stay. And when you fall off? Don’t ghost your growth. Text your people. Say, “I’m in the spiral. I need eyes on me.” That’s what sacred community is for. Not to judge you—to hold you as you rise.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. About truth. About rising together.
Because the real transformation? It doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in brave spaces, with brave women, telling the truth and choosing to keep going—even when it’s messy.
You weren’t meant to do this alone. And the moment you remember that? Everything starts to shift.
C: For example, I reconnected with Sharlene at a networking event. I was nervous to reach out and suggest a collaboration but she was great. Turns out Sharlene was up for creating deeper ,more authentic connections too. And here we are, planning so many cool projects.
S: We have one more session in this series. Next time we’ll get quite specific about what to eat.
C: Isn’t it cool that we did 7 sessions about weight loss and didn’t say the D-I-E-T word once? It’s about way more than calories in and calories out, right?
S: Absolutely! When we conclude this series, we’ll be releasing a few “deeper dive” video courses. Please sign up for our newsletters at either of our websites (www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com) to be the first to hear. There will be courses on hormones, metabolism, stress, sleep and maybe more but that’s all we have so far. We want to keep supporting you in your weight loss journey.
C:The web addresses are in the show notes. Please comment! Share these episodes with your friends! Let us know what is resonating with you. See you next session.
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